Repeat after me, “I am required by law to put a roof over your head and clothes on your back and food in your stomach and everything else is EXTRA! I OWE you NOTHING!” I told my children that regularly and would also be known to add that the clothes on their backs did not have to be designer-they could be thrift shop or rummage sale-that was totally my option. Of course I would also tell them that until they were 18 this was MY life and I was letting them share it! It is perfectly fine to want to give your children things because you love them, and I provided things for my children because I loved them, but dammit stop raising them with the sense of entitlement!
I am so tired of walking up to Mother/Daughter combos and smiling and asking, “Hi, what can I help you find?” Only to be met with the pleading eyes of a mother who says, “She is looking for a foundation, (or a blush or an eyeshadow….)” Take his afternoon for instance….Little Precious was looking for a foundation. I say, “Absolutely! What brand did you have in mind?” Precious immediately goes into a slouch as she looks through me and says, “I don’t know….” I respond, ” Not a problem, let talk about your skin, is it oily? Dry?” Precious: *shrug* “I don’t know” while glaring at me like I was something she scraped off the bottom of her shoe. Me: *smile* “Ok, lets try this! What kind of coverage are you after? Sheer? Medium? Full?” Precious:*shrug* ~slouch* “I don’t know….. At this point I say, ” Ok. So lets look at some of the textures. Don’t look at the color-just the texture. Now this is a BB Cream and will have sheer to light coverage..” As I am applying a drop to the back of her hand and Precious turns her nose up and whines, “It’s sticky, I don’t like it-it’s STICKY”. I say, “Alrighty then, Now this is a light coverage by Urban Decay….” As she hisses, “It’s too thick!” I take some make up remover and a tissue and remove it from her hand. I start to show her another foundation and she says, “Can’t you just show me the Bare Minerals foundation?” I smile (can you tell the difference between smiling and gritting my teeth?) and say, “Of course. Do you want to try the new liquid or the original powder?” Have you figured out yet that the response is going to be, “I don’t know” because that is what I got. So now Precious is seated in my chair and slouched down and Mommy is beaming at her darling. I do a quick color match of the liquid and show her how to apply it and ask her, Is this the finish that you are after?” as I hand her a mirror and she just shrugs her shoulders and doesn’t reply at all. I ask, “How does it feel?” Again, looking down and shrugging her shoulders. I turn to look at her Mom and she asks, “Do you like that one sweetheart? Is that the one you are after?” Precious glares at her Mother and shrugs her shoulders again. At this time my mind is racing ninety miles an hour and I want to tell that mother that if this was my child I would grab her by the arm and drag her obviously unhappy ass out of the store (as I was smacking her all the way to the car) because there was no way in hell I would spend $70 (foundation and brush) on a spoiled rotten little ingrate who needs to take that money and take some classes on MANNERS! Instead I smile and say, “I’ll tell you what! Let me write down what I used and the color and that way you can wear it this afternoon and see what you think!” *Scribble, Scribble, Tear the sheet off the notepad* “Thanks so much for coming in and have an incredible day!” (You can mail my Academy Award to my house)
I wish I could tell you that this is an isolated case-but it isn’t. I deal with this kind of behavior several times a day. I deal with 12 year olds coming in and twisting lipstick all the way up and then cramming the lid back on it while they are just looking at me smiling, because they are actually daring me to say anything. Their Moms are standing right there and not paying attention and if they were , they would just say, “Oh, sweetheart! No, No!” Like they are talking to a toddler. I had an 8 year old give herself a full makeover with black eyeshadow and red lipSTAIN and when the Mother came over to me screaming at me because NOTHING was getting the lipstain off of her daughters mouth, cheeks and shirt, it was obviously my fault because the Mother wasn’t paying attention or making her child behave. 8 years old is way past the age of having social skills enough to go into a store and behave yourself.
Think about what lessons you are teaching your children. Children learn what they live. And from where I’m sitting we are all screwed. I have been told in management meetings that “The Millennials” take “special handling”. My response. Fuck That. I raised “Millennials” and they were not raided with a sense of entitlement. They have manners and I only had to say, “Do you want to go to the bathroom with me?” And that would put life in a whole new perspective.
When they would call me at work and whine because one of them was tormenting the other, I would respond, “Do you want me to come home? I DON’T think you do!” I had a client tell me one time that she thought my kids were afraid of me and it made me smile. There is a fine line between fear and respect.